Saturday, November 17, 2012

Weekend Bike Rides for Dads. Six Rules For Success

1. Leave early
You're up anyway, you may as well go. And you absolutely must be back for your wife's yoga, coffee session, pilates, walk whatever it is at 10 a.m. Be back on time. I don't care if your front crank got caught in your back spokes and tore your chain into five different pieces. Be back on time.

2. Go with other dads
Even if they were to get up early enough to go with you your single friends are no longer good company. You don't want their Friday night tales reminding you of a by-gone area and they don't want your analysis of the latest trends in playground equipment.

3. Wear what you like
No one cares. There will be no swilling of lattes, shaved legs outstretched, watching people in the sun for hours post-ride and you don't have the disposable income for the latest new pro team kit now anyways. Wear the yellow socks with the cheapest Pearl Izumi knicks you can put on your hairy legs. Knock yourself out.

4. Be inappropriate, swear, ogle joggers
Get it out of your system, fella.

5. Take the safe route
You may still be convinced you're not going to die on your bike but someone is actually depending on you now. Stay away from steep, tricky descents and weaving through busy intersections. Previously spurned bike paths are perfect dads bike riding fodder.

6. Don't skip it
You might think you are doing your family a favor by staying home to help out on a weekend morning but you're a hyper-active, frustrated pain-in-the-arse mess whenever you do. Go ride. Just don't expect to sit down when you get back.

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